I so rich, I so rich, I so rich I got a pet American.

A pet American? A pet American.

She got a pedigree and a filigree and if you’ll agree she’ll play Frisbee.

I so fly, I so fly, I so fly I got a purple drone phone.

A purple drone phone? A purple drone phone.

He likes to free fall and make the crank call

but don’t call him back or he might attack.

I so cool, I so cool, I so cool my Maserati knows karate

It knows karate? It knows karate.

Now that’s a chop shop and he’s a pop top

You know he won’t stop cause he loves hip hop

I so hot, I so hot, I so hot I got a soup Nazi

A soup Nazi? A soup Nazi.

That’s what I got see, I got a lot see

And just like Yahtzee, I took my shot see.

I so rich, I so rich, I so rich I got a pet American

A pet American? A pet American.

Chance of a life time and she’s so fine

Chance of a life time she’s my life line

Took her out to wine and dine and she love me

Love me so much she give me some touch

Mother me she did smother me she did

She had eight arms just like a squid

Smooth cool chill and ice

The girls a freak I’ll say it twice

Got the fellas runnin like three blind mice

Freak to the naughty freak to the nice

Come on freakin shorty best roll the dice

Freak to the trick and freak to the treat

Too freakin quick you know she can’t be beat

Freakin burnin rubber down the street

Taken all the checkered’s breakin all the records

Plenty of time to take down all the tech nerds

Mother me she did smother me she did

She had eight arms just like a squid

Left me feelin dirty like Billy the kid

Freak to the splish and freak to the splash

First we’ll make a wish and then we’ll take the cash

Cruise the reds carpet hundred yard dash

Gotta hide your eyes she got so much flash

Freak to the high and freak to the tight

Did someone say kaboom cause the girl is dynamite

I know I said she was a freak but the girl is out of site

And that’s the end of this sound bite

Rat rod Frankenstein this ones gonna be divine
Pretty girl what’s your sign Zodiac or Valentine
Silver bullet through the heart
Best part of life is about to start
Keep us apart you know they tried
We’re still together like Jekyll and Hyde
plots got thicker heart beats quicker
Best not to give a monster much liquor
First they want to drive and operate machinery
then they’re takin selfie’s lovin all the scenry
Facebook, Instagram, don’t forget twitter
not enough likes then they get bitter
nothing left to do but eat the babysitter
but she is scrawny and gone to soon
makin the werewolf howl at the moon
pardon my vernacular I know it’s quite spectacular
Child of the night creepin out Dracula
So keep your pitchforks and torches
and your jack-o-lanterns on your porches
It’s lookin gorgeous
Quick grab a selfie stick and we’ll take a pic
Hey we’re trending and we’re looking for a happy ending
Facebook, Instagram, don’t forget twitter
Get a million likes you know I’m not a quitter
and just like that
Rat rod Frankenstein this one turned out just divine
Pretty girl what’s your sign zodiac or valentine

Let’s take a quick time out
Just so we can jump scream and shout
and let the girls shake their pom-poms around
as the Drum Major floats above the ground
Let’s take some time to laugh
and play with our tiny pet giraffe
he loves to dance around the room
and see if he can fly on the broom
Let’s take some time to dream
and come up with another funny scheme
who knows what’s about to happen
our fingers and our toes they’ll be tappin
Let’s take some time to wish on the shooting stars in the sky
and give our luck another try
you know our bets are all in
ya it’s time to grab another win
Let’s take some time to make a friend
you know that’s all that matters in the end
We’ll tell each other our old stories
then will brag about our future glories
Let’s take some time to look up
and be grateful like a little pup
ya we got the world in our hand
we were born in the promised land
So let’s take a quick time out
just so we can jump scream and shout
and let the girls shake their pom-poms around
as the Drum Major floats above the ground

It’s only crotch rocket science
Are you in compliance?
I don’t need defiance
from a mouth breather, knuckle dragger
you ain’t got a bit of swagger
I may be a bragger
but look at all this
all the girls wanna kiss
my red hot lips
and hop on the back and hug my hips
as I burn down the track
and the girl on the back she’s rockin that rack
and the girl on the back
she’s rockin, she’s rockin, she’s rockin that rack
Now I got thunder between my thighs
and I got fire burnin in my eyes
It’s no wonder that you attract flies
with your rice burner no head turner
why you gotta be a slow learner?
It’s only crotch rocket science
Are you in compliance?
I don’t need defiance
from a low brow pipsqueak
you got no game your just plain weak
As for me I got mystique
all the girls want to dance cheek to cheek
Now we’re comin to the end of the story
I’ll try not to be derogatory
I’ll use small words so you’ll understand
your bike will fall over without a kickstand
It’s only crotch rocket science
Are you in compliance?
I don’t need defiance

This is only a test of the Scary Broadcasting System
You got enemies go ahead and list them
You got fates ya we’re gonna twist them
They got the gold I got the platinum
They got the thugs I’m gonna flatten them
But this is only a test of the Scary Broadcasting System
You want peace we got the Kingdom
You want knowledge we got the Wisdom
You got chains we got the Freedom
You want a ghost I’ll be your phantom
But this is only a test of the Scary Broadcasting System
They use words that lack the luster
I’ll take them out like a bunker buster
Now that Bruce is Caitlin I don’t trust her
And he’s pretty like a feather duster
But this is only a test of the Scary Broadcasting System
Side effects may include
A girl with a bad attitude
But there’s no romantic interlude
Cause you found out the girl was a dude
But this is only a test of the Scary Broadcasting System
You got bets go ahead and place them
You got fears you know you got to face them
You got dreams you better go and chase them
The days are evil you know you got to race them
But this is only a test of the Scary Broadcasting System

         London, Paris to Berlin

Back me up I’m taggin in London Paris  to Berlin

Sidewalk Sunday rocky road you done hit the mother-load

Like a diamond in the rough I blow your mind I’ll huff and puff

I’m diggin on the zombie craze only here to amaze

Back me up I’m taggin in London Paris to Berlin

Fuel injected turbo charge blowin up and livin large

Bigger than Pinocchio L.A. New York Tokyo

And all the girls of Anime liven life the manga way

At comic-con and cos-play

Back me up I’m taggin in London Paris to Berlin

and off the charts in Richter scale I was never built to fail

Jackpot Grand Prize look int my tiger eyes

they sparkle like the milky way you better bet I came to play

I got a spread  in Marie Claire You tell the truth Ill take the dare

and now we’re coming to the close Peep toe pumps and sexy toes

Kiss the girls don’t make them cry and now it’s time to say Bye Bye

back me up I’m taggin  in London Paris to Berlin

Bigger than Pinocchio L.A. New York Tokyo

Quarterback 1,2,3,4,5

Quarterback 1,2,3,4,5

Quarterback throws the ball in the air

knock the jerk down like I don’t care

slam the ball home from little mike

run it back, throw it down, fine me for the spike.

I am the best athlete to be found

knockin heads and runnin on the ground

I’m sweet, complete and oh so neat

no better in the alley you won’t meet.

So don’t you dilly dally my poor poor pally

or you’ll be a gutter ball in the bowling alley

now I’ll hit you hard you tub-o-lard

and if you try to run it back you’ll lose another yard.

You say that I’m a cocky guy

I’ll give you two or three reasons why

you should bow down on the ground

cause the king of bing is back in town.

One, I’m having too much fun

Two I’m comin straight at you

Three your wishin you were me.

One,two, tree and that’s enough

One,two,tree and that’s enough

one,two, tree and that’s enough poetry.

Cop puts me face down on the ground
Feelin just like a bad dog in the pound
don’t know what to do, don’t know what I did
Looked in the rear-view cop pullin a skid
We knew the jig was up so we tossed our whiskey cup
Slammed her into gear and we said oh my dear
Better get goin start some mud throwin and get our buts right out of here
Well it started with a beer then, there was another
Then there was a fight you don’t mess with my brother
We ran to the left we ran to the right we raced this car all through the night
Gauges blazzin quite amazin RPM’s are raisin, raisin, raisin
Made the breaking news at the crack of dawn
Figured we were busted trenched another lawn
Copters overhead cruisers on our tail
wishin we’re in Vegas living like a whale
Turbo driftin power shiftin bet your but your spirits we be liftin
First gear ballin wit style Buzz Lightyear makin you smile
Double clutch second and third I’m almost gone free as a bird
Four five slip her into overdrive Speed of light speed of sound
you ain’t gonna find me face down on the ground
Don’t be sad just tell a friend I’m the best driver and this is the end

      Everyone’s forgettin I’m the secret weapon                                                                                                                                                                         

Everyone’s forgettin I’m the secret weapon
Droppin words and phrases like a laser
Drone strike, taken out the Third Reich
Movin back and forth through space and time
Lookin for another brutal rhyme
Brass knuckles for my travels
Takin out those who judge with crooked gavels
Brass knuckles iron fisted
Number one of the top ten listed
Matter of fact all the girls insisted
That our tongue’s they need to be twisted
Heat seekin Freely speakin
All these girls are really freakin
Goin back to the past where I feel at home
Number one gladiator taken care of Rome
Cleopatra and the Pharaohs
Didn’t evolve from little sparrows
Charles Darwin thinks he was a monkey
Clearly the dude was a  giant junkie
Spose he believes Pluto’s not a planet
What’s next my jaw’s not made of granite
Take your best shot make it a good one
Cause I’m up next and your gonna be done
Weaponized, energized, mess with me you swear I was super-sized
Mesmorized by the future Got a girl there I like to smooch her
Recollection of my affections they run in more then one direction
North, south, west, east you be my beauty I’ll be your beast
Not everyone’s forgettin I’m the secret weapon
Lyrical, superical grammatically empirical